I didn’t sleep well last night, I lay in bed until well after 11 pm and I couldn’t get to sleep. As I tossed about trying to grab the elusive dreamworld but my mind kept working. It continued to grab snippets of thoughts, pondered them momentarily and then moved on to the next one. Honesty was one such topic.
I asked myself rhetorically “Am I true to myself and others?”. Am I honest about myself and baring my soul to others? I’d like to think on some level I am.
Although I can’t (or won’t) expose every thought and feeling I have I can be honest in what I do share, and that is what I try to accomplish. I suppose this kind of dilemma is one that faces many writers, how much to lay themselves open, and while I’d like to divulge every feeling and thought I have it would (or could) have far reaching and long lasting negative effects.
I’m talking about the potentials if those close to me were to read this, and somewhere in the depths of these posts I had said something they took umbrage with. There could be hurt, or worse, and it would be due to what I wrote. I cannot have that.
So I will try to honest but not so open as to include my innermost thoughts of others. I’ll try to keep it on the up and up, after all I should be positive right? If I feel I have to write something so potentially inflammatory I should do it on paper and burn it after, or not write it at all. This will be another step in my growth.