“Depression is nourished by a lifetime of ungrieved and unforgiven hurts.”
– Penelope Sweet

My name is Dwayne and I’m just working my way through a period of depression. How much of the quote above relates to my depression we’ll have to see.

This blog, my first, was initially created as a means to privately journal my thoughts and feelings during my passage through this illness.  I also keep a paper journal.  My counselor, I’ll call her Gloria, felt that while a paper journal is a good method for tracking my thoughts it’s the blog that might provide some interest, and maybe perspective, to others.  I hope that is the case.  For that purpose, and my own ego (of course), I opened it up to others.

Unfortunately a few of my early posts were full of angst and pointedly commenting on or criticizing (read that negatively) others actions and my perception of them.  In retrospect I am not proud of those early comments and thoughts but they ‘were what they were’, and they displayed how I felt at the time.  Being as one of the purposes of this blog is to maintain a journal I have kept those posts to show from whence I’ve come, but I’ve made them ‘private’, for my use only.

I don’t profess to have any answers, I’m learning as I go both on the depression and the blogging fronts.  I like to learn.  I will attempt to blog frequently and to be honest about how I feel, but not so honest as to be disrespectful toward others.  I will also attempt to interject some humour, maybe some insights, and always try to be real.

What I do have is many interests (too many) and I may go through periods of talking about nothing but.  They include my kids, grandkids, cars, photography, gardening, and who knows what else.  Give me time and I’ll come up with more.  At times my emotion toward something may take on an evangelical zeal, certainly I occasionally feel things intensely.

My counselor felt the multiple interests and unquenchable curiosity is the gifted streak coming out in me, the obscure side of my personality I’ve yet to come to know or develop.  In many ways I find myself denying my ability, or at the very least discounting it.  I want to change that.  I want to learn more about myself.

When this blog was first created the story on the “About Me” page was more …. more something, I don’t know the words but over time I came to be unhappy with it, and like myself I thought change must occur.  I’ve moved it here if the desire to see it ever arose.

So that’s kind of me in a nutshell.  Maybe ‘nut’ is a good description???

I would truly appreciate any feedback!

29 thoughts on “About Me – Rev. 1.1

  1. Hi Dwayne, I’m late coming to your blog – thanks for taking at look at mine. Your writing and posts are prompting me to get back to work on One Man Wondering again. Whenever you’re in town, or I’m in yours let’s make a point to get together to compare notes.

    1. Thanks Jaie.
      I truly appreciate the nomination but at this time I find myself behind the eightball as it were and cannot devote the time required to do this award justice. I will have to respectfully decline. Perhaps, with your blessing, I can forward it onto another blogger and they can carry the baton. I will of course attribute the nomination to you.
      Have a great one,
      Dwayne

      1. Hi Dwayne,
        I totally understand. Don’t sweat it. Just wanted to share the appreciation via the award for your blog but by no means want to pass on pressure.
        Just saw your new post – sorry didn’t get to reply to your message sooner (have a cold and have been trying to pack as am moving very soon) – think you covered it though.
        Enjoy your weekend,
        Jaie 🙂

    1. Thank you so much! It is an honor to receive your nomination. I’m not sure if there are steps to be taken on my part but I’ll surely look into it.
      Cheers,
      Dwayne

  2. I think that blogging about your depression and experiences is a really good way of getting feedback and just teasing out what exactly it is you feel. Just having people to talk with or to can be important, especially when so much of the world doesn’t understand most of what you feel. I hope things go well for you and I think you are very brave.

    1. Thank you for your comments.
      Up until a short while ago I didn’t realize that many others wrote to help with their depression. My counselor suggested I try journaling first and then I quickly switched to the blog, seemed to fit me as much or more than the paper.
      Thanks again and take care,
      Dwayne

  3. I love your honesty and sincerity. I see part of myself in your blog which celebrate family and oneself including the times we are at our lowest. Writing and sharing them is a great way to renew oneself. I helped me in so many ways. Wishing you and your family all the best.

    1. Thank you so much!! I’m honored to receive this nomination!
      Lately I feel like I’m running both ends against the middle, for some reason, so I may not get to responding and fulfilling this task for a day or so. I do appreciate your thoughts for me. Cheers and thanks again.

      1. You deserve it! No worries, I understand awards can be overwhelming. I’m at a point that I appreciate them greatly but appreciate the likes and comments more 🙂

  4. Thank you for the ‘follow’ and thank you so much for the “very inspiring blogger award”. Have a good day. 🙂

  5. Dwayne,
    Thank you very much for the nomination of the Very Inspiring Blogging Award. I didn’t even realize there were awards here. I just started to upload my work here last night, so I am a newbie. Can you share with me where I need to post the 7 things about myself as the rules had mentioned..? Much Love and Many Thanks to you for finding my page here on WordPress ~ Lynie with Bring In Light

    1. Hi Lynie, receiving the award for me was a surprise as well, a very pleasant surprise. I don’t know the “right” way or if there is a right way to post the 7 things but I just created a new post and filled in the info like it was entered in my sponsor’s post. You can use mine as an example if you like. I must admit I cheated a bit and copy and pasted some of the info and just changed the names to protect the innocent, as it were. The hardest part was entering the 7 inspiring sites.

      Keep up the light, if you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask.

      1. It looks great, you’re a fast learner.
        I see you have a new grandson. I was just “awarded” one as well (LOL), he will be 2 weeks on Sat.
        I’m glad to have helped brighten your day.
        Have a great night.

      2. I’d did see where it was your youngest daughter as well (same here) Yes, baby Ryder was suppose to have been last week but ended up being 3 weeks early. He’s officially one month old today..! And this Award did make my whole evening Dwayne..!

  6. That was great! I’m to blogging as well and maybe I’ts also due to my depression! Maybe we both want people to listen to our story through righting perhaps! whatever the case may be I wish us both well:)

  7. Hey just wanted to say “welcome to blogging”. I started blogging over 10 years ago when I was first diagnosed with depression and anxiety. These days I blog more about my dog, dating, and random stuff, but the depression is there, I guess you could just say I have learned how to manage it as best I can, and live around it. The first year (after diagnosis and/or acceptance)is the hardest as you try to figure out that you are depressed but that it doesn’t have to define all of you. Good luck and blog honestly! Enjoy!

    1. Hey, thanks for your welcome, support and comments. I especially like your last comment, “Good luck and blog honestly”.If it ain’t honest what’s the point, right?
      I hope your travels bring you luck and good will,
      Dwayne

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