The Day Began as Many Others

The day began as many others. I awoke, dressed, made my coffee, and tried a yogurt for breakfast instead of my usual cereal or toast. Nothing unusual there. In fact little that has happened since then has been what you might call ‘unusual’, unless you lump the point that I did not take my morning walk, nor did I stop for a coffee at my usual haunt.

In fact I’m not sure what prompted the title “The Day Began….” other than it sounded like the lead in sentence you might see in a trashy novel. I’m not writing that novel though and while some may think of my posts as trashy I’m kinda fond of them. Most of them anyway.

Today is my birthday, and although that could fall into the ‘unusual’ category it’s only because birthdays in themselves are not ‘usual’. By definition usual means:

– occurring or encountered or experienced or observed frequently or in accordance with regular practice or procedure

Thus birthdays are not necessarily ‘usual’, at least in my mind, because they don’t occur frequently. That being said after 57 of them maybe they’ve occurred too frequently.

One thing did happen that was not in the norm. I got a phone call at 6:30 am telling me my Dad was in a great deal of pain and had to be taken to the hospital. This after I just checked him out of the hospital on Thursday where he was due to a similar incident. Not the call I really wanted.

After that I also g0t a call from my daughter, wishing me well and putting me on speaker so I could hear my grandson speak. He’s not saying actual words yet, or not many of them, but he can chat up a storm. And the emphasis he put’s into it is priceless. Things that warm cockles of the heart….

So while the day began as many others it is winding down to be somewhat different. We are getting set to go camping and my wife is taking me out to dinner. Now THAT is unusual. She doesn’t prefer to go out and this is a sign that she’s doing something for me. Aren’t birthday’s grand?


My Baby’s Birthday


It’s my baby’s birthday today.  Although she’s certainly no longer a baby, being that she’s now 32, she is my baby and likely always will.

We are visiting my baby and her family for the weekend to celebrate and bond but by the time this is posted we may be home.  In my zeal to organize (consolidate) all my photos I’ve taken almost all photos off my phone and will have to be at my pc to access anything I want to post.

20121014-200028.jpgSo here she is/was back in the day.  I think this was taken in 1981 when she was around 1. Anyone reading any of my past posts will recognize a strong similarity to my grandson, her baby.  Ain’t life grand?

Happy Birthday Son, I Miss you!

Shawn as youngster

It’s my son’s birthday today, but I can’t wish him happy birthday because he passed away suddenly 12 years ago, on Jan. 18, of a rare heart condition called Arrhythmogenic Right Ventricular Dysplasia (AVRD).  If he was with us today he would be turning 30 years old.

I miss him, sometimes painfully, and I think of him most days. The hollowness in my heart never goes away but it has lessened over time.  Knowing I will meet him again sometime eases my loss.

Another thing that helps to mitigate the hurt is partially filling the void with another love.  It can never replace my heart’s previous tenant but will moderate the loss. It will take the edge off, it’ll provide some relief from the angst that comes from losing someone.  I’ll never forget my son, but having a grandson to love now allows me to use that love instead of letting it wilt inside me.

You will never get over the loss of someone you love, particularly your child.  They are your hopes and dreams, they are the future.  When they is gone so go those thoughts.

I had so hoped to write something fitting and appropriate today, a means to capture his memory and pay proper tribute, but the words escape me.  It will have to be enough to say Happy Birthday, and I love you!


My Day, Happy Birthday to Me…..

20120626-084741.jpgIt’s my birthday today, 56 years ago this morning I was being born.  I don’t recall what the time was…..I was busy being overwhelmed by the birth experience and I hadn’t yet learned to tell the time.  Nor did I have a watch.

Continue reading My Day, Happy Birthday to Me…..


Carry your Loved Ones in your Heart

20120622-223118.jpg Long days, and nights that fly by.

We have hit the road again to see the fam and celebrate a belated Fathers day and my upcoming birthday. I’m pooped and have become quite disillusioned with the time spent driving, but you knew that didn’t you. Be that as it may we will thoroughly enjoy our time and we will also look forward to going home. I certainly will anyway.

I will miss my lil buddy but I will always carry him in my heart.


The Cycle of Life

So today (technically Mar.10) I’m officially a grandfather.  Whether I’ll be Grandpa, Gramps, or I’m thinking Poppa, I am still very happy and can’t wait to meet the new addition.  His name is Madden, 9 pounds 5 ounces, and he is cute as a button.  Officially it happened last night around 8 pm and while we couldn’t be there we were with our daughter in spirit.

Continue reading The Cycle of Life


Happy! Thanksgiving

I feel better today, mind you it’s only just short of 10 am and I haven’t had any beer yet LOL.

I probably should be cautious about joking about alcohol consumption, I could give the wrong idea.  The wrong idea would be that I drink too much, and I know that is a relative thing.  If you have one drink and it causes you some negative reactions, through words, actions, or thought, then it probably is bad.  If that’s the case then likely nobody should drink.  Ultimately that’s a reaction I’d dare to say many people have had at one point or another.  Anyway I don’t think I drink too much, yesterday was only 2 beer after work and they were 2 of 4 beer all week.  Not sure why I need to explain or justify my actions, just did at this moment.  Nuf said.

Ay and her husband are coming home today for the weekend, the first we’ll have seen her for a few weeks and she’ll be showing more.  She’s about 18 weeks pregnant at this point and seems to be settling into it more.  She did have some challenges at first, both physically and emotionally, around the pregnancy but is feeling much better about it now I think.  I’m looking forward to seeing them, I hope the feelings are mutual.

We’ll be doing a family dinner at the Colander tonight and then big family dinner at our home tomorrow.  Tomorrow is also our son Shawn’s birthday, or would have been.  He would be 29 had he made it this far.  I’m not sure how his death will be dealt with today, that will be a question.  I miss you Shawn.


Success working on the job jar

I’ve been working at the “job jar” list and have gotten done most of what I wanted to accomplish, Eureka, I feel better.  It is a gratifying feeling to say you’ll do something and then get it done.

I’m cooking Mo dinner tonight so I’ll work a bit longer and then take 5, reward myself and prepare the feast.  Bar-b-que steaks, baked pototo, corn on the cob, chocolate trufffle cake with strawberries and whipped cream for dessert. I’ll bring up a bottle of wine and she may even have some.


Mo’s Birthday and gittin’ sumpin done

Well it’s the Queen’s birthday today, and not not the Queen of England or some such country, but the Queen of my house, Mo.  She acquired that name from our friend Andrew, he annointed her with it during one of our house renovations where he came to do the job and I helped.  I’m not quite sure why he called her that, although I’m going to believe it was a term of respect.  It’s all about our choice about how to receive things, right?

At any rate I’ve made pancakes for breakfast, and we’ll have a steak bar-b-que for dinner where I’ll prepare one of her favourite feasts for her, complete with my signature ‘shrooms.  The eatin’ kind, not the magic kind.

I feel pretty good today, ambitious and looking forward to accomplishing something.  As I’ve posted before even some small accomplishments go a long way to making me feel better, and the size or scope will expand over time.  The important thing is to do, not talk about doing.

It must sound like I’m a slackard or something, given my posts and descriptions of my activities.  Really I don’t think I am.  I do stuff, ok maybe not tons of stuff, but I do do things.  I maintain the house and yard, vehicles as well, and just try to find a balance between those types of tasks and personal mental care.  Sometimes I think I just swing a bit too far toward the mental care focus, and procrastination takes hold.  And you know the thing is, for me at least, that going too far that way can be counter-productive.  If I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished something in the “job jar” area I actually begin to feel worse.  I think part of the reason is that I’m quite handy and able to do many things that when I sluff off tasks it feels somewhat demeaning.  I know I can do so much more.  Hence back to my looking forward to doing something.


55th Birthday

Here I am, 55 and enjoying my youth.  I am still having my depressive moments but truly think I am doing well.  I still have some work to do on my responses and mindfulness will help from this.  I need to take the first steps.