Ever feel like an Extra Terrestrial?

Every so often I have a moment, an period in time, where all around me is surreal, and no it’s not drugs. Some highly spiced food perhaps but no drugs.

I just don’t seem to connect with many people and find some of the conversations uninteresting and the topics mundane.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying they are beneath me or not worthy of my time, because in a lot of cases I have no idea what they are talking about and really have no interest in learning.  Could be anything from why we should/should not send troops into some remote country to oust the leader or who had the most runs/goals in the game last night.  Sometimes I wish I knew more so I could fit in but much of the time I just nod and smile, and look like an idiot.  What frustrates me I think is that I know I’m smarter than that, after all I’m supposed to be “gifted” and intelligent, right?

On the upside of the topic I know now that this is not abnormal, not unusual, nor uncommon.  The way we think and the manner in which our brains process information, our interests, are a few the factors that can influence this.  Certainly there are many, many gifted individuals who can and do converse on almost any topic, and I would love to be like one of them.  I’m not though, so my goal is to love myself as is, accept myself like I am, and be the best “I” can be.  Work with me on that willya?



So if honesty is important to my posts I’d have to say I’m often bored in conversations with others.  It just seems like so much of what we say to each other is mundane, I don’t have the knack for small talk, don’t necessarily want to either.  I think it comes back around to the whole “adapting” philosophy Gloria and I talked about. I can adapt and chat with others but unfortunately I don’t often enjoy it, the small talk I mean.  I feel as if I’m forcing myself to say something noteworthy, something germaine to the conversation.  It seldom feels real.  I also have to say that this isn’t necessarily a frequent occurence, it’s not every conversation I have, but when I try to bond with some people I think I come across as being phoney.  Perhaps I am, I don’t want to be though, I want to genuinely connect.  I sometimes watch others relate, to monitor their body language and how/what they say in hopes of picking up clues as to how to improve my skills.  So far no epiphany, and that makes me sad.