We’ve been away from our house/home for over 2 months now of a potential 6 month gig. I have been asked more than a few times if I would consider staying on permanently but up until now I’ve been non-committal, vague even. I imply more money might sway me, or perhaps I should say the same money. As I’m a contractor/consultant my salary is higher than the norm for that position but bear in mind I get no benefits of any kind, except maybe some free clothes or boots.
Bottom line really is that I don’t care to work. I enjoy some of the tasks thrown my way but the longer I do this job the more I remember what it was like the first time around. My early retirement was for a reason.
I do feel validated however, in demand, wanted shall I say. All feelings that were missing before. I want to write more but I’m tired, another thing I don’t miss.
Well isn’t this interesting. Stopped at Starbucks again this morning for my first fix of ‘Joe’ and was met with a lengthy line. That’s not the interesting part (but if you think it is then that’s cool).
When I got to the head of the line I noticed they had another trainee working (also not the interesting part). However, in chatting up the Barista I tell him maybe I should apply, seeing as I’ve seen so many trainees behind the counter lately. He tells me to put my name in (that was the interesting part). Me, a Barista? Hmmmmm. And no it’s not me in the photo. I’m a tad…….more mature.
Further discussion with him told me that part time was available, about 10 hours a week. I suspect the hours wouldn’t have a lot of flexibility to them though, that likely you’d be bounced all over the place and perhaps wouldn’t have a lot of notice. If that’s the case it would mean an impact on my ‘Manny duties’, if they ever came about. Click on the link if your not sure what a Manny is.
Now I don’t think I’m particularly interested, or am I? I guess part of it is that my ego felt stroked and that’s always a good feeling. Whether he was serious or not I can’t say, but when I was leaving he did say “I look forward to seeing your application on-line”. I just don’t know if I want to work, at least not yet. After all I retired so I wouldn’t have to.
I think he was just teasing me, what do you think?
At the initial writing of this I seem to be at a loss for words, wanting to post, hoping for enlightenment but not achieving it. Perhaps reading some of my book will spark an idea, a thought to build on, and it has. I have an idea, I can write.
While I was traveling last week I went for dinner with one of the consultants we were working with. His name is Kim, I’d like to be able to call him “friend”, I hope he would consider me the same. We talked about careers, his in particular, and the past he has had. He was trained in the German navy where he achieved a Masters in Economics and held some senior roles in managing projects. He was very frank with me and shared that his involvement in one particular project demanded a significant portion of his time and energy, such that he ultimately suffered burn-out and in order to heal emotionally he took over a year off. At some time around then, and I’m not clear on the timing exactly, he went back to school and earned a second Masters, this time in Communication Psychology.
Wow, I’m impressed, I knew he was bright as you could just tell the way he carried himself. I had thought of a career in psychology myself I told him, but “changing careers at this point in my life was too late for me.” Now I’m questioning that comment and think maybe it’s not so true. If my Mom can write a book, and 2 or 3 at 75 years old no less, then I could probably manage another career at 55, maybe, kinda. Daunting thought I’ll admit.
In the book “Gifted Grownups” it mentions how a man’s son recounts that his father was a gifted man, working in a steel mill, and he had a desire to read/learn more. He worked toward that goal but “the steel mill killed him”, I assume figuratively speaking. I took from that comment that the son thought that working in the mill took his Dad’s drive, removed his energy to complete himself and reach all his goals. I may be wrong but that’s my assessment nonetheless. Perhaps that’s because that’s partially how I feel, like my job is “killing me”. That is why I thought it was too late for me to pursue any dreams I may have. I’ve swung a bit away from that now, keep the pendulum swinging.
For as good as I feel at home, generally speaking, I feel just about as crappy at work. Really hard to be motivated and want to do a good job. Whine, whine, whine. I should be glad to have a job right?
I just learned yesterday that the person that was hired to replace me in my old position is now leaving himself. I haven’t talked to him about this but I predicted this event months ago. The organization is not able to fix whatever fundamental problems it has, and in this case they thought that by replacing me they would fix the problem. Unfortunately I was not the problem. One of the biggest problems that they have is that they don’t realize, or don’t understand the severity of, the problem(s) they do have. One example is their employ of me, I’m a fairly sharp guy but they a) either don’t realize it, or b) they know and don’t care, or c) they know and care but don’t know what to do with me. Any one of these options has a fix. The single biggest issue we have as a company is our ineffective usage of our largest resource, human capital.
Anyway……I wrote in my paper journal this morning how my hand-writing had improved and I chalk it up to practicing, by writing more and more (by hand). The same goes for physical exercise, the more you do the more you can do. Even my Dad commented on that yesterday, how he finds it hard to walk but if he actually got out and did it more then it would be easier when he did. Makes sense, no? Anyway it also applies to our brains, the more we use/exercise them the easier it becomes TO use them and the stronger it gets. This is not rocket science here. I am working on that part and I think improving.
This applies to my blogging also, rather than entering drivel put something down that can exercise our brains. Hmmm, what to write.
I hope we can go out and get a campsite after work tonight, even though I’ll have to commute to work from there it will still be like camping part of the time, and that’s better than not camping at all. It allows me to disconnect mentally somehow, to pretend I have another life, one where work doesn’t intrude. Alas, retirement seems so far away.