Don’t I feel Dumb

About a week or 10 days ago I went into the bank to sign some papers for a safety deposit box.  I had a box prior to this in another financial institution but my long range plan is to move most of my financial stuff into one place.  So I signed the  papers, got the keys, and came home.  After that it’s a blur. Continue reading Don’t I feel Dumb


Age and Memory loss

I’ve just finished working outside, changing my truck tires actually.  Boy the jobs I took for granted before take it out of me now.

Ay and St (husband) are here now and we’ll be leaving for the Colander shortly.  We were talking about a bit about Dad and his memory, she was commenting how I better be careful because I’ll be like that when I get to that age.  How thoughtful LOL.

Maybe I Should Write a Book about Dad’s care

So in the ongoing saga of moving my aging father I’ve often thought of writing a book, detailing the steps involved and hoping to help someone else through the process.  That may or may not occur, but in the process of writing this post and looking for photos I came across a site diarizing the tribulations and joy of a man who shared his fathers last days, his memory loss and the sharing of love they felt for each other.

Very touching, bringing tears to my eyes, and how I can relate.

Dad’s condition stable

I called Dad this morning and his slurring seemed more pronounced.  I wonder if it is a result of having additional strokes, or just the dementia taking it’s toll.

We have an appointment with a doctor this afternoon and I’d like to find some way to talk to her privately before or after our joint visit.  It sounds like they have still not gotten his records from the doctor in Langley, or if they have the admin assistant was not aware of it.  The new doctor needs to be aware of the various tests that were done and the results of each if she is to provide good care.  I did make my concerns known when I phoned in and I’m hoping that information has found its way into his file.

The whole circumstance of Dad and his condition is very trying on me, I just want to hide and avoid it all.  Sad think is it will get worse not better, until he finally passes.  He is getting more and more forgettful now, he didn’t remember he had a bank account in Trail and he thought we took his scooter home when it is still there.  It makes me wonder if he should even be going out, if he gets lost he may be a danger to himself or others.  He could end up being one of those people who just walks away never to be found.  Unlikely but these are some of my fears.

Dad on the Decline

We took Dad out for dinner last night, we being Me, Mo, my Mom (Dad’s ex), and of course Dad.  I called him in advance to see if he was free and he was very “befuddled” on the phone.  And that’s his exact word, “befuddled”.  When I queried him on what he was getting at he asked me to help him find something out, specifically what happened to the house?  To make a long story short he was wanting to know how we moved him out of his house (not sure which one even now) and why he didn’t see any papers or have to sign anything.  He wondered what happened to all his things such as tools etc..  I tried to calm him and promised we could talk about it when we picked him up.

I was a bit distracted after that and thought about what may have been happening to him as we drove into Trail.  It bothered me, made me sad, and talking about it to Mo and Mom didn’t really help.  I think Mom still bears him some grudge after all these years, even though it’s not overt or malicious.  She seems to have little patience for his condition and that bothers me on some level as well.

At any rate we arrived at his place and picked him up from his room, he was still a bit addled and shakey, but we collected his things and took him out to the car.  On the way he began to weep silently, saying he didn’t know if he’d be here (there) tomorrow, inferring he may die that night.  I think between his realization his memory was going and his loss of identity at the moment he became overwhelmingly sad and his grief came through.

Dinner went well for the most part and his mood improved.  He was still at a bit of a loss regarding the move from the house but that occured over 25 years ago and even I couldn’t remember how it went down.  We took him back to his place after and Mo took him up.  On the way out she discussed it with the on-call nurse and they would check on him later to see how he fared.

I called him this morning and he still seemed to be a bit at a loss but much better on the whole.  This is likely just the beginning of the end.  It hurts my heart but I guess it’s just life, sad but true!