Time Flies, To Where No One Knows

Boy does time fly. Is that a result of too many demands or not enough emphasis put to using the available time wisely? It appears I’ve not succeeded in determining that fundamental question.

While it may sound like another rant is imminent I plan for that to not be the case. Unfortunately frustration sometimes gets the better of me, and travelling, camping, keeping 2 blogs going, developing a website, and doing genealogical research during the summer vacation period, has shown to be a challenge. And this doesn’t include any yard or housework. Ok, so it is a bit of a rant…..

However things are winding down now and I’m optimistic we will again see some semblance of order and a return to some routines, of which posting will again become one.

The last month(s) or so I’ve also not been feeling as chipper as I was prior to that, my fear is a return to the dreaded ‘depression’. I’m giving it that name although I’m still not convinced that’s what it is. I’ve been off my depression meds now for a while so there may be a connection there.

It could just be that I’m an emotionally intense person, suffering from highs that are a bit higher and lows a bit lower than the average bear. If you want to read more on emotional intensity go here. Connected with that are other Borderline Personality Disorders (BPD), not sure I want to go there though.

And there’s the possibility it could also just be I’m a cranky SOB, or some other maladjusted personality quality. And before we go too far I do believe it’s a medical/psychological issue, not a spiritual one, so while I appreciate everyone’s concern let’s just leave it at that.

Whatever the cause it wreaks havoc on my moods and while (for the most part) I’m able to keep my bitchiness to myself it does leak out occasionally and generally toward someone close to me. Read that primarily as ‘wife’.

Bless her heart she says she doesn’t see it but I think she’s just being nice. It’s great to have loving family isn’t it?

On a positive note though I’m visiting my daughter and family, again….. . It almost seems like a second home sometimes.

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I’m not doing much daycare of my grandson this time but rather have come to Kelowna to see more distant family that I haven’t seen for a while, if ever. I may have been a baby or toddler on our last visit and I don’t remember. They may remember, and that’s one of the things I hope to find out.

I’ve become acquainted (or reacquainted) with a number of my kin, such as Great Aunts, 2nd or 3rd cousins twice removed (whatever that means) and others that while not directly related were at one time part of my families lives. The genealogy bug has bitten and that is also one of those time flyers that’s attached to the web page and other blogs. Genealogy research soaks up tons of time let me tell you, or it can if you let it. In my case it’s feast or famine it seems, hard at it or not at all.

So as I said, “Time Flies”. If you ever figure out where it goes please let me know.

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Back in the Saddle

I’m back in the saddle, or at least on the horse. The saddle may have to come later.

It was my intent to post something much sooner. I said at the outset of creating this blog that it was my goal to post daily, or close to it. It seems I lied. My post frequency has been closer to weekly, or certainly that’s what it seems anyway. ‘Things’ just get in the way. Poor reason/excuse I know. I haven’t even posted photos for the Weekly Photo Challenge lately (to be honest I’m not even sure what the topic is.

The summer has been proceeding at a pace unforeseen or unexpected to me. In many ways it’s just been a spring and summer that has taken on a schedule that I don’t like. I’ve done numerous trips, by car and within 1000 km (~600 mi.). Some have been for pleasure and a few have been to see or support loved ones in need. That being said, I appreciate that I shouldn’t lament the reasons, and I don’t, it’s the time away from my castle and my ‘stuff’ that I lament. That and my apparent inability to manage my time effectively when I am at home.

One thing you do get is to see a bunch of interesting stuff when you’re on the road. This gent was operating the espresso machine at a coffee shop on the road called “Deadwood Junction and Tarnished Turkey Cappuccino Bar”, one of my favourite haunts while en route to Kelowna or back home from a visit to my grandson.

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You can see it hasn’t been all bad. It’s just that since I retired last year I often feel overwhelmed and under capable to handle my various stresses, most or all self inflicted. Plain and simple I see my world as full of these opportunities and things I want do, and certainly there’s no shortage of things I should do. There’s always cutting the lawn, doing dishes or the laundry, shopping, cooking, washing or maintaining vehicles etc. etc.. Never mind the fun stuff like camping or seeing my grandson.

Woe is me, my life is sooo tough isn’t it. Just smack me upside the head.

Like camping was such a hardship. While I didn’t post much I did do some journaling, and what a view. The photo doesn’t do it justice, albeit this was with my phone.

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Early retirement has provided me with challenges I didn’t see coming. Many people have asked me since I retired “What do you do?”, or “How do you stay busy?”. I just laugh. Life is so full, how do I get to do everything I want to, that’s the question.

So if you have any time management tips, or ways you think may help me in my time of need please let me know. I’d love to hear. In the meantime I’ll mount up and ride into the sunset of my golden years……

Is it True Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?

Is it true that absence makes the heart grow fonder? I sure hope so, I want you to be as find of me as possible, and I’ve been absent for a bit.

It’s been a while since I’ve written. I have missed it, I won’t lie, and there are no excuses, my bad.

You know how sometimes you just never seem to make it to the things you like? Despite your desires things just don’t transpire like you want. It’s kinda like that, and that sounds suspiciously ‘excuse-like’ doesn’t it.

I could talk about the weather (gorgeous), or life with my grandson Madden in it (blessed), or the potentially rich life of a retiree (outstanding), but I won’t. I’ve said enough on that.

I’ll post a couple photos instead, way easier.

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Life is pretty good if we can appreciate it.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Up

Ok, I had to do it. Pictures of grandchildren are at some point mandatory. In this case he, my grandson Madden, is standing “Up”. This is not the first time but certainly one of the first. He looks like such a little man.

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Also where I thought I might have some difficulty finding something else “Up”ish, in fact I found a number of shots that could be tied to the “Up” concept (albeit loosely in some cases). Enjoy.

This weeks photo challenge is “Up”. As always to see additional posts please go here, to the Weekly Photo Challenge page.

What Does a New Subaru Have to Do With Flowers?

A friend of mine bought a new car. A Subaru Forester to be exact. What’s the point you wonder? Well, here ’tis.

After I dropped him off at the dealership and he picked up his wheels we decided to hit the local greenhouse. Mistake you say? I think not. He came away empty handed and I bought a Helleborus.

A Helleborus, also known as "Winter Rose"
A Helleborus, also known as “Winter Rose”

Pretty, don’t you think?

Weekly Photo Challenge: Colour

My most recent experience with colour is on a trip last weekend to Portland, Oregon, for the Portland Swap meet.  We traveled down the Columbia River valley through and area known as “The Columbia River Gorge”, or by some just “the gorge”. It was a beautiful trip and while the the weather was spotty with rain and cloud on those occasions where the sun peaked out it was breathtaking.

The greens of the many types of moss, and the baby green on the trees or the early green of the hillside grasses caused me to gawk out the window the whole trip. I will apologize in advance, some of the photos were taken out the window of the moving car. We were under time constraints to get to the swap meet in a timely fashion.

Back to the Normal

Today is the first day back to whatever we call ‘normal’, at least our normal. Our Easter guests have returned home and the house is finally quiet after 4 days.

It is also the first day my wife has returned to work, after an absence of about 5 months. And, as a result, it is the first day I will be left to my own devices and alone in the house for the day.

I have chosen to begin the adventure with a walk, my wife dropped me off a ways from home and I will walk back. Of course one of the first stops will be Starbucks for a morning cup of joe. I deferred my normal coffee at home and thought coffee’ing’ out would be a nice way to begin my day.

The sun was up when I began my stroll but not too far over the horizon. Far enough though to cast some shadows and create some interest in the texture of the land. I like this time of day and you’ve likely heard me say that before.

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As my wife’s cousin once said:

“It’s a good life we lead, isn’t it”

Yes Emory, it is. And it also feels great to be back to the normal.

I’m Spent, Like the Last Dollar in my Pocket

I’m spent, physically and perhaps emotionally, and only because the day was gorgeous and I wanted to spend every moment I could outside.

It’s not like it’s totally unusual. Long days out and about in the yard are pretty common once the days lengthen and the sun warms the ground. I feed off that warmth, soaking it up like a sponge, like those little flower buds we yearn to see.

We have company coming on Good Friday, family and not the least of which is my grandson (daughter too of course). I’m sure I’ll have a picture or two to share after the weekend completes, even earlier if I can find a quiet moment and I have the energy and oomph to take on a new post. Time will tell.

I did find enough time yesterday to get out with my camera, for a few shots at least. It was on a return trip from running errands, but the timing is not important, the fact I took the time to take the shots is. I had wanted to get back to a rushing creek location I had photographed a week prior. On that trip, the earlier visit, I had played with shutter speed to try and get that ‘look’ to the water where it’s almost like foam, where the longer exposure allows the movement of the rushing water to blur and become somewhat surreal. I didn’t quite accomplish it on my first visit. It was my first attempt and I only went as low as 1/10 of a second. See below.

Hanna Creek, rushing water, blurring
Hanna Creek

Now I know that this type of picture is not new, it’s probably been done a million times, but for me it was a first. I had never tried this type of shot before.

So on my second trip to the same creek (slightly different composition) I lowered the exposure to 1 second. Unfortunately, or not, the original shot of the photo below came out overexposed. I did not, or my camera did not, allow me to use a longer shutter speed at my lowest ISO (100). Obviously something I need to research. In post development I had to tweak the brightness and contrast to get what you see below. It has a somewhat surreal look itself. The water does look a bit more blurred too, which is what I was going for.

Hanna Creek, Trail,
Hanna Creek

Now when I took this next shot, after the one above, I again didn’t realize my exposure was off (neglecting to look at the shots after taking) and I dropped the shutter to 2 seconds. This one is totally over exposed, but I liked the look of it anyway, kinda ghostly.

What do you think??

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Ghostly Hanna Creek

Totally washed out, but neat too.

Comments?

Weekly Photo Challenge: Future Tense

Looks like I totally missed the last Weekly Photo Challenge “Lunchtime”, in fact somehow I’ve missed the whole week. When I look back I can’t believe it’s been as long as it has since I last posted. I had such high hopes that I would put out at least a couple posts. Anyway, there I go again, sounding suspiciously like a confession.

You can read about the challenge here, and again we are asked to do a Phoneography submission where the snap was taken with one of our devices, in my case an iPhone 5.

At any rate here’s one of my submissions toward this week’s topic “Future Tense”. My photo was taken of some Snowdrops standing perkily in my garden. They have just recently poked their heads above the snow (there was snow, honest) and brought the future prospect of Spring.

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Spring Snowdrops

I had to sneak into the backyard to get this and while the iPhone takes a decent shot it is lacking in some of the finer adjustments you might find on a better standalone camera. For that reason I’ve taken the liberty of adding another, similar, shot taken while there was snow showing.

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Snowdrops in Snow

Enjoy, and as always….please don’t hesitate to comment.
Cheers

Then…til Now

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“Then…til Now”, replaced “Depression – Where Am I From? …. Where Am I Going?” as the current tagline for the blog. In addition you may have noticed a change in theme from ‘Parament’ to ‘Misty Lake’.

I’m not clear at this point whether there’s any benefit to these blog changes or not but I felt that some change was in order, almost like a new beginning (to the blog). From a timing perspective it ties into me being ‘med free’, so from this point I won’t be on any medication for depression.

That in itself is a bit of a milestone for me and time will tell if it was the correct decision or not, however I do feel better and I want to move on, on to a more normal life (whatever normal is). My early retirement last year has freed me from the stress and the anxiousness of a job I neither enjoyed nor felt particularly attuned to. The industry, and my company, is going through a time of change and those changes were something I had little interest in accommodating, certainly not after already putting in 38 years and beating my head against the wall for the last 5.

As I’ve indicated in previous posts I believe my depression was more a reactive depression, or situational depression, than the psychological depression I first thought it was. Those circumstances are now behind me (at least for now) so I want to look ahead, not back. ‘Nuf said.

So my forthcoming posts here will hopefully be of a more positive note, and much like the photo below I will be displaying buds of new growth. I’d like you to stick around to see.

willow buds, new growth
Willow buds