Honesty

So if honesty is important to my posts I’d have to say I’m often bored in conversations with others.  It just seems like so much of what we say to each other is mundane, I don’t have the knack for small talk, don’t necessarily want to either.  I think it comes back around to the whole “adapting” philosophy Gloria and I talked about. I can adapt and chat with others but unfortunately I don’t often enjoy it, the small talk I mean.  I feel as if I’m forcing myself to say something noteworthy, something germaine to the conversation.  It seldom feels real.  I also have to say that this isn’t necessarily a frequent occurence, it’s not every conversation I have, but when I try to bond with some people I think I come across as being phoney.  Perhaps I am, I don’t want to be though, I want to genuinely connect.  I sometimes watch others relate, to monitor their body language and how/what they say in hopes of picking up clues as to how to improve my skills.  So far no epiphany, and that makes me sad.

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