Now there’s a figure of speech that works for me, “All over the Map”. It’s what best describes my writing style of late, so much so I’m thinking of changing my tagline to “World Traveller”.
My mind wanders. It frequently wonders too but mostly it just wanders, jumping from thought to thought without settling on any one thing. Perhaps it’s like being a kid in a candy store, so many choices that deciding on just one is onerous.
I think of blogging. I think of things in my yard or in my house, tasks, responsibilities. I think of friends, both current and past, and right now I think of my last counselor Elly. She was my favourite.
Not that Gloria was not good, or anything remotely like that, Elly was just more ‘into me’ if that makes any sense. Elly was like the friend I never had. I felt more open with her, more real. And that’s not to say I could tell her my most inner thoughts, my darkest quirks, those things best left unsaid. Those things or thoughts that should never be let out. Things like…….
(more here http://wp.me/p8mDx0-vc)
And, here we go again, again an endless series of mundane thoughts and senseless drivel. It ain’t so bad though, it’s my thoughts and my drivel. You have the choice to take it or leave it.
Of course I’d always prefer you take it, that’s the point isn’t it?
Life has been, well, shall we say continuous. That too is a good thing. I’ve been in and out of town and actually accomplishing things on the home front. My new meds Citalopram seem to have taken hold and turned my ambition level around. That in itself is a good thing, a really good thing if it holds.
We just got back from visiting our daughter who just gave birth to a baby girl, Ivy, only 2 weeks ago tomorrow. I spent the week prior and the week after the birth at their place helping wherever possible. My wife, much to her dismay, had to come home to work. Sucks to be her. I do feel for her though, that was me prior to retirement.
She is cute too, Ivy I mean. Of course my wife also cute, that goes without saying. We miss her already and have only been away a day. I have pictures to remind me though, lots of pictures. And photos of Madden too. He’s also in my thoughts. I love them all, what can I say. I’m a sucker for grandkids.
I didn’t sleep well last night, I lay in bed until well after 11 pm and I couldn’t get to sleep. As I tossed about trying to grab the elusive dreamworld but my mind kept working. It continued to grab snippets of thoughts, pondered them momentarily and then moved on to the next one. Honesty was one such topic.
I asked myself rhetorically “Am I true to myself and others?”. Am I honest about myself and baring my soul to others? I’d like to think on some level I am.
Although I can’t (or won’t) expose every thought and feeling I have I can be honest in what I do share, and that is what I try to accomplish. I suppose this kind of dilemma is one that faces many writers, how much to lay themselves open, and while I’d like to divulge every feeling and thought I have it would (or could) have far reaching and long lasting negative effects.
I’m talking about the potentials if those close to me were to read this, and somewhere in the depths of these posts I had said something they took umbrage with. There could be hurt, or worse, and it would be due to what I wrote. I cannot have that.
So I will try to honest but not so open as to include my innermost thoughts of others. I’ll try to keep it on the up and up, after all I should be positive right? If I feel I have to write something so potentially inflammatory I should do it on paper and burn it after, or not write it at all. This will be another step in my growth.
Why do we camp, emphasis on DO as in why DO we camp? I thought I knew the answer but like so many things now I’m doubting what I do and don’t know.
I think I’m in a funk, I’m “funking”, and while it’s not a terminal condition it is one that is nevertheless somewhat debilitating. I’m not really in a bad mood as such, it’s not that my knickers are too tight, it’s more that I just feel tired and somewhat out of sorts. Is it because I’ve f***ed with my meds? (that will be another post). Continue reading Why DO We Camp?